


When Loss Mends

by WindMeister8



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Broken Families, Daddy!Levi, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Hospitalization, Mummy!Reader, Workaholic, marriage problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4101784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindMeister8/pseuds/WindMeister8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are married to Levi with an adorable child, Isabel. You're working as a journalist in a large newspaper company. What else could be wrong with your life, people would say. But...everything IS wrong. Can your miserable life somehow be saved and at what cost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Loss Mends

**Author's Note:**

> **(AU Note: For maximum effect, listen to[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuhBmPU6NP4))**

You paced the pristine white floor nervously, your three-inch heels clacking a steady rhythm as it landed on each tile. The large clock on the wall ticked in synchrony with your steps, marking the passing of every second. Your gaze was fixated on your feet as it moved back and forth – tick and tock. The flow of time seemed to be dictated by the subconscious movement of your legs. 

“Would time stop if my legs stopped?” you thought. 

The silent vibration of your phone snapped you out of your reverie. Muttering silent curses under your breath, you dug the horrid object out of your pocket and saw one message from your editor.

_Deadline is in another two hours! Hurry up with your article._

Your hands trembled in fury as you fought to control yourself from throwing the wretched communication device at the wall and smashing it into dozens of mechanical pieces. You constantly wished that you could go back in time and kill the person who had invented phones – those horrible devices that allowed people to be constantly reminded of work. 

Your editor was one of those people who didn’t have a shred of emotion in them. Even in your current situation, he constantly demanded that work be your first priority. That was the life of a journalist in one of the biggest newspaper companies. You couldn’t argue, you couldn’t protest. Thousands and thousands of potential candidates fresh out of school were eagerly waiting to take your position. You were replaceable, a small cog in the machine. And he reminded you of that fact many times before.

You stopped pacing and stared at the sign in front of you which had just changed from blood red to a transparent, lifeless color – a sign that the battle inside the operating room had ended. Your heart rate instantly shot up so high that you started to feel slightly dizzy and nauseous. A surgeon came out from the room wearing a grim expression. As you rushed towards him, the angel of life… or death, anxiety caused you to almost trip at his feet but you steadied yourself at the last second. 

“How is she?” you blurted.

“Not so good.” With a little shake of his head, your world seemed to crumble and tears began to form under your weary eyes.

“We did our best but… her chances are very slim,” he said while removing his glasses, tiredly wiping his somber eyes.

Finally, he uttered those two words that you feared the most.

“I’m sorry.”

* * *

You sat on the small, uncomfortable chair that was positioned beside your daughter’s bed, one hand typing furiously away at your old laptop, the other checking your phone for any messages from your presumably cheating husband. 

_No messages._

Clicking your tongue in anger, you shoved your phone back into your pocket and slumped into the chair. Your eyes drifted back to your child and you had to blink back tears as you wondered why the fates were so cruel. Stroking her red hair, you hummed her favorite song, hoping that maybe it would take away the pain that she was experiencing. As you traced your fingers over her delicate face, you wished that it was you that were in her place. You could do anything, _anything_ , to spare her from this misery. And now, it seemed that God was relieving your child of her misery… by taking her to where he was.

Why? The question had been on the tip of your tongue ever since the prognosis. Why my child? Out of all the other people in the world, why her? Life was cruel, you knew that. Your work demanded too much time from you, your husband seemed to be having a fun time away from home with his petite secretary and now, your child – your one and only light in the world – could be taken away from you at any time.

While you were deep in thought, the door slid open, revealing a handsome, raven-haired man. Turning around, you slid into your usual disgusted expression at the sight of your husband. Ignoring the invisible daggers that you threw at him, Levi walked over to Isabel’s side, loosening his tie as he breathed heavily.

“How’s Isabel?” he asked in a low voice so as not to wake the innocent, sleeping girl.

“Why ask now? Were you too busy with Petra to care?” you replied harshly.

“Tch, for the millionth and one time, (F/N), I was busy doing work. Not having an affair as you stupidly believe.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Whatever you say, Levi. The doctor said her chances are slim… She might leave us as early as tonight.” You bit your tongue as the last words escaped from your mouth, wishing that you didn’t need to say something so ominous. It was hard enough knowing the truth, but expressing it made you feel like Isabel’s destiny was now etched in stone. 

You looked at your husband’s reaction to the news, expecting to see him wearing his usual disinterested frown. Instead, you were shocked to see the man trembling slightly, his hands balled into fists at his side. He stared at Isabel as if it was the first time he had seen her, biting his lips constantly as if to suppress the oncoming tears. Dropping to his knees, he moved towards his daughter, his quaking hand coming to rest on her hair.

Moved by his emotional reaction, you reached out to comfort him but you were distracted by the soft ping of an incoming email. Cursing slightly, you tapped on the abominable mailbox icon. It was another email from your slave-driver editor. You hurriedly typed in a closing line to your article, attached it to your reply and sent it off to him, hoping that it would keep him off your case for a while.

“I can’t believe you even brought your laptop here,” Levi said in disgust.  
“Well, unlike you, I actually care about bringing in money so that we can pay for Isabel’s treatment and maintain our livelihood,” you retorted. 

Levi ran his hands through his hair in mounting frustration. “I AM earning money, for Christ’s sake!”  
“That doesn’t explain the debt that we STILL have and the fact that we don’t have enough for.. “ You rattled off the usual list of financial problems that had burdened the two of you ever since marriage.

“… so just admit it, Levi, our financial situation is due to you,” you ended your long rant.

“Still, you don’t need to be constantly doing work, especially when your daughter is lying here. Sick. In a hospital!” Levi’s voice shook in anger, his grey eyes burning into yours.

“Then explain why I’m the one who has to handle the hospital bills!” you hissed back.

By this time, both your voice and Levi’s were increasing in volume and ferocity, the quarrel escalating into the normal explosive bang that always shook the tranquility of your home and resulted in a cold war between the two of you. Then, a small voice piped up, “Mama, Papa?”

Both of you instantly turned towards the frail figure who was starting to prop herself up. You immediately leapt to her aid, helping her into a comfortable position. Levi poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the table beside him and handed it to Isabel who gave a cheery smile, as if nothing in the world was wrong with her. Your heart ached as you knew you might not see that smile ever again. That smile which brightened up your worst days, that smile which scared all your fears away and made you strong. 

Trying not to break down in front of your child, you smiled at her and apologized softly, “Sorry for disturbing you, honey. We were just discussing some adult stuff.”

“Just go back to sleep, Isabel. It’s been a long day for you. We’ll be here for you when you wake up,” Levi said in a soothing voice while patting her hair gently.

Isabel shook her head slightly. “It’s ok, Papa.. Mama. I know both of you were arguing again. And… I know that… my time is near.” Her voice quavered as she spoke.

You looked at her in shock, and then at Levi who was as dumbstruck as me. “No, baby, you’ll be fine. The doctor says you just need rest.” You tried to assure your innocent daughter while Levi nodded his head in assent. 

“You don’t need to lie to me, Mama. I… can feel it. I can’t last any longer,” Isabel said with a brave smile.

“Honey, no – “  
“Mama, just listen to me…. Please?” she asked with her puppy eyes that you could never resist.

Unable to find the words to comfort or reassure your daughter, you hung your head in resignation, whispering a small, “OK.”

You felt her delicate hand taking yours and placing it onto her lap and a second later, Levi’s hand was placed on top of yours. Holding both hands in place, Isabel said, “Mama, I know you think Papa and Miss Ral love each other.”

“Wha- “ You and Levi spoke in unison.  
“But that’s not true. Miss Ral loves Mr. Bossard. And she’s going to propose to him soon,” Isabel continued.

You glanced at Levi who merely nodded in agreement.

“And Papa… to be honest, Mama is better at handling money. If you let her manage all your money, I think she won’t need to work so hard.”

You stifled a laugh at your daughter’s insightful analyses. She was already so mature, so grownup, so…. But she wasn’t going to grow up any more. She wouldn’t have dates, wouldn’t fall in love, wouldn’t graduate from college, wouldn’t marry. You won’t get to see her blossom into a full adult nor hear her call you “Mama”. 

Your eyes turned glassy from the amount of tears stored up behind your clear irises, unwilling to let Isabel see your sorrow. But the dear girl continued her speech.

“Papa, the reason why Mama works so hard is because she secretly sends money to Grandma.”

Levi turned to you but your mouth was agape, astonished by how much Isabel knew. You hadn’t told Levi about this because his relationship with his mother was strained and he would have been against the idea. But in your heart, you knew he still held some affection for the person who gave birth to him. After all, she was still his mother. So, every month, you secretly sent her some allowance money, providing for her monetary needs to compensate for the lack of emotional or physical support.

“So Mama… Papa, my wish…” Isabel closed her eyes as if making a wish.

“My wish is that both of you will always be together… even when I’m gone,” she finished, a forlorn smile adorning her face.

You were taken aback and judging by Levi’s expression, so was he. “But baby – “ you started.

“I know, Mama. But I know you still love Papa and he still loves you too. Just… promise me this, ok?” Isabel pleaded.

“We will, honey. But you’re not leaving us,” Levi interjected and planted a kiss on Isabel’s cheek. 

You glanced at Levi who motioned to you to follow suit. With a sigh, you stroked her hair and said, “It’s a promise. We’ll all be together – the three of us – like always.”

“Thank you, Mama, Papa!”

* * *

It had been a mere week. A week since this house was filled with sound. Any sound. Laughter, shouts, crying… anything. It was just… empty. Hollow like its owners. The beating heart had been ripped out from the center and all that was left were wheels and cogs that moved by itself but the body was decaying.

You were slumped on the couch, decked in a black dress. Levi sat on the edge, head hung between his knees. His tie was loosened and his black tux thrown over the back of the couch. The clock chimed twelve and you closed your eyes, wishing that the sound would just stop.

“(F/N).”

You imagined your daughter laughing at your jokes or playing with you in the backyard. “Mama!” you heard her call but the sound was faint.

“(F/N). Are you listening?” Levi’s voice broke through your shell. 

“What?” you sighed in exasperation.

Levi turned towards you and you realized how much he seemed to have aged over the course of a single week. His grey eyes no longer held that confident, serious glint but were instead, weary and bore the look of a defeated man. You hadn’t looked at yourself in the mirror but you assumed that you were in an equally bad state.

“Shall we make this marriage work for once?” Levi asked quietly.

You blinked twice, not registering his words properly. “Seriously? In this situation, this is what comes to mind?”

“We promised Isabel.”

That silenced you. Your daughter’s dying wish was so innocent, so pure, so naïve and it broke your heart that you had promised her something that you weren’t intending to follow through. With her gone from your life, there was nothing keeping you together with Levi.

Except for her last wish.

“I still love you, (F/N). And we need each other to get through this.”

You lifted your gaze to the ceiling, tracing the flower patterns across, thinking of the day when Levi and you had chosen this house to be your home. 

_“This will be our home, (F/N). But my home will always lie with you… and the little one.”_

Deep inside, you knew you still loved him… but was it enough to save this marriage? 

_We’ll always be together – the three of us._

Recalling your own words, you realized that it didn’t matter that your daughter was no longer here in person. Isabel would live on in your heart forever, the piece that would glue you and Levi together, in life or in death.

You whispered softly, “Alright, Levi. Let’s try again… from the beginning.”

He squeezed your hand tightly, reaffirming your bond with him.  
 _  
For Isabel…_

_For Isabel.  
_


End file.
